The Email
This is purely in response to a number of people asking if I have tried to contact our previous pastors personally. Here is a copy of the email that was sent to them at the beginning of May, 2010 before I began the My Story page. Please note…the pastors that received this email did not respond to me in any way.
I have wanted to write to you for a while now. I’ve started emails and then deleted them. Part of my hesitation was fear that you wouldn’t truly understand my heart or see the point of my words. I tried at different times while we were on staff to express these difficulties to you, but I never felt as though you understood. My concerns never seemed to hold much relevance…so, eventually I gave up.
On my blog this week I will begin writing about the leadership style that was and to my knowledge still is very prevalent at ___. It’s taken me years and lot’s of research but I think I understand now where things got off track for us. I see why we didn’t click and why we couldn’t flourish under your leadership. It’s so similar to the Shepherding Movement… and I can say first hand that it is very difficult to stay healthy in that type of environment.
I don’t expect you to reply or even acknowledge this email. I just wanted you to know that I will be writing openly in hopes that other people struggling with this type of leadership can find a way out if needed. It’s very difficult to communicate true feelings through an email. I know this is probably awkward for all of us…but I didn’t want to dive into this topic without letting you know that it will be spoken about very openly and honestly.
I don’t have __________’s ( the senior pastor) email, so please feel free to forward this to him.
Thank you,
Jana
We had the same experience. We tried many times to point out how people were being abused only to be called rebellious and other ugly names. I once called ______ to tell him about an issue and he said “If you love me you will not talk to me about that”. My response was “It is because I love you that I will talk to you about it”. On another occassion I was talking to him and the pastor that we loved and served faithfully for seven years responded “I am not your pastor and never have been.” Unfortunately with the Shepherding and Spiritual Authority theology, men like this are untouchable and answer to no one. To question them is to question God himself.
Mike,
You are absolutely correct. I feel like questioning them was like questioning God. Like they were the only ones that could hear him! When actually, those of us little “sheep” they claimed to be shepherding could probably hear God clearer than them because our hearts and minds weren’t preoccupied and clouded with our own agendas of control and manipulation. We simply went there, (and PAID to be there!), to draw closer to God, serve, and learn more about him. For those students and staff with such pure motives, how could we possibly not hear God “like they could”? Hmm