Can No = Yes?

When Barry and I came to California to interview for the ministry position at our current church, we fell in love with everyone and everything immediately.  We realized within hours of our arrival that we were home.

During that weekend we engaged in a number of conversations with the elders and pastors, church leaders and youth.  It was an amazing time and we felt the spark of excitement about ministry rekindled in our hearts….hearts that at one time were so raw…we thought we would never be fit for ministry again.  It was a time of saying “Yes” to what we felt God was calling us to do.  It was humbling to think that He would trust us and ask us to pastor again.  With thankful hearts…we agreed to follow His direction and will.

At one point during the interview process the senior pastor asked me if I still enjoyed working in the administrative side of ministry.  His question allowed me to recognize an area of my heart that was aching to be free.   As soon as the word administration came out of his mouth I felt my stomach turn…the thought of going back to that familiar side of ministry felt so constricting and depressing.

I spent years behind a desk, organizing events, raising funds, printing calendars and making phone calls…and honestly it drained the life out of me.  Even though I fought for excellence in what I did…it was not fulfilling for me.

With a hesitant voice…I told him No.  I realized in that moment that I honestly didn’t want anything to do with that side of the church ever again.  I wanted to believe for more…I wanted the freedom to allow God to awaken other things within me…I wanted to say “Yes” to new things…new dreams.

Now that I look back on that moment, I realize I had to say “No” to that so I could say “Yes” to something else.  And I’m happy to report…it worked!

The last two years have changed my life and my view of myself.  I’m finding creativity around every corner.  The love to write has been renewed in my heart…I enjoy photography…I enjoy being free to explore so many avenues of ministry.  Avenues that were bottled up inside of me….avenues that were only allowed to flourish when I was brave enough to say “No”.

What about you?  Are you in a place where you need to say ‘No Thanks” to old ways of operating so that you can say “Yes” to the new season God may have waiting for you?

New Adventures

Well everyone… after many posts on dreams of the heart I am finally ready to reveal some of mine.  Okay…one of mine.  I was given the privilege of taking photos of one of my very best friends little girl.  She just turned 5 this week and she is such a beauty.  Inside and Out.  I don’t think I have ever seen so much compassion and love embodied in such a young child.  She is a treasure!  So, here are a few of the pictures.  I am gradually building a photography business…the key word here is GRADUALLY!  But, I promise to keep you in the loop as I begin my new adventure.

I’M SO EXCITED!!!

Better Late than Never

We raced to the terminal, dragging our luggage behind us as we ran.  I was out of breath by the time we reached the irritated attendant at the flight desk.  She displayed her aggravation with great pleasure by rolling her eyes and sighing loudly.  But, at that moment, I really didn’t care that I had become the subject of scrutiny.  I was so happy that we weren’t going to spend the night on the floor of the airport. 

As we boarded, I ignored the glaring passengers and gleefully skipped to my seat.  Despite the fact that we were the cause of a ten-minute delay, I pushed aside my feelings of guilt.  All that mattered was that we made it onto the plane and we were headed home.  The hurried events of the week faded into the background as we snuggled in closer and prepared for the long trip ahead.  Barry and I drifted off to sleep as we flew into the setting sun.  The future seemed to hold fresh hope and we were thrilled at the thought of dreaming again.

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Have you ever felt as though you missed your window of opportunity?  Do you have seasons of life that you can look back on with regret?  Maybe you decided to pass up a job or gave up on a business venture too soon.  Or perhaps you dedicated so much of your time to one aspect of life, you forgot to look up and see the world around you. 

Lately I’ve given a lot of thought to my past.  Not thoughts of regret or disdain, I’ve just spent some time reflecting.  Now that I am officially in my 30′s, I have taken a moment to consider the decisions that have brought me to this point.  Some of them make me smile with pride (the good kind, just in case you were worried ) and other’s have left me scratching my head in bewilderment. 

But despite my lack of clarity on each and every season.  I have come to a couple of conclusions. 

1. It’s never too late to pursue God

and

2. It’s never too late to go after your dreams

At this time in life it would be easy for me to give up on the desires of my heart.  After all, many of them have sat on the shelf for years.  But, it seems as though the more I struggle to push them aside, the more they push back. 

Even though I feel like I’m running feverishly through the airport of life so I don’t miss the flight to my future…I am also resting in the knowledge and peace that God is in control.  I may have endured some set backs through the years and life may have thrown me some surprises along the way, but my story doesn’t end here.  Right now, I truly feel as though God is waiting for me to take confidence in knowing that He is the one who put those desires in my heart.  He gave me those dreams.  I am trusting that as I follow His lead and rejoice in His timing… some of those crazy, outrageous dreams might just take flight.

Do you have dreams that seem to be dying?  Take heart in knowing that God is a Redeemer…He can breathe fresh life into the dry bones of our past and give us hope for the dreams of tomorrow.

Much Love,

Jana