On The Path Toward Healing

A friend of mine is an AMAZING artist and she just posted this painting on Facebook today.  Once I saw it, I knew I needed to share it with everyone…especially those that are hurting.  All of her work is inspiring because she has used painting as an avenue of healing in her own life. 

Feel free to check out her blog A Girl and Her Brush as well as her Etsy site.  I hope that you will be ministered to in the same way I was when I looked through all of her paintings.  I even have one in my house…I love her work so much!

Mourning to Morning

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. ~ Psalm 30:5

Barry and I were out running errands when we received a call to go to the hospital immediately.  One of our church members had a relative that was in a severe boating accident.  We had no idea what to expect when we arrived, but the scene we encountered was forever etched into my memory.  Family members were doubled over in the ER hallway holding each other and crying.  Their cries were unlike any I had ever heard, they came from deep, very deep within their souls.  It was painful to witness their raw, unfiltered suffering.  They were clinging to hope that the young boy would survive, but his injuries were severe.  As we waited among the sea of relatives and friends the devastating news was delivered to the family.   The shock and the pain was almost unbearable to watch.  I made my way down the hall to a small room; I couldn’t hold back the tide of emotions any longer.  Tears were welling up in my eyes; I was overwhelmed by the magnitude of the situation.  I had never seen this type of grief…and I didn’t know what to do.   As I turned the corner I saw her…sitting there alone.  It was his mother.  Her face was buried in her hands; she was muttering something to herself, over and over again.  I started to walk away, I didn’t know what to do.  But in a moment of uncertainty, I walked towards her.  Without a word I wrapped my arm around her shoulder.  We sat in silence as she wept.  A woman I had never met enduring a pain I could not imagine and there I was… holding her as she fell to pieces. 

But sadly, that’s all I did.  My extension of love did not go past a quick moment of comfort in a hospital waiting room.  I have never been good in moments of grief…I’m often the one standing back in silence, contemplating how I should respond, react or speak.  I guess no one is really comfortable in those situations, but I am striving to learn ways to respond in a respectful and thoughtful way.  There will never be the right words or cards.  The perfect flowers or impeccable timing…but what I can give is love and consideration. 

The topic of grief is so important…yet we often rely on our own understanding or emotions to dictate our response to those grieving among us.  I have made so many mistakes through the years with church members and friends enduring the pain of a lost loved one.  I wish I could go back and give more, love more and be there more.  I wish I would have tried harder when they needed me the most. 

In an effort to not repeat those past mistakes, I am gathering ideas to help me respond better in the future.  Here are a couple of pointers on helping someone who may be grieving.  I pulled these from the book Praying Through Sorrows.  The bolded points are directly from the book, the comments that follow are my thoughts and summaries.

• We must remember them – Not just in the moment, but weeks, months and years later.  Remember the anniversaries and special occasions with a card, kind word or fresh flowers on their door step. 
• We must mourn with them – Be there for them.  Don’t offer up your words of wisdom or say you understand, but don’t shy away from a quick phone call to tell them you love them or offer to bring over a meal or a movie.  Be around and be willing to listen.
• We must accept their humanity - Be a friend that will allow them to vent and cry without feeling judged.  They may say things they don’t mean.  They are often in the trenches of grief and need a safe place to talk things through in order to process all of the emotions they are experiencing. 
• We must comfort them – We cannot understand their circumstance, therefore we must rely on the Holy Spirit to guide our words and actions.  Don’t feel like you need to rush into this, ask God to show you how and when you can bring comfort.  Even the simplest thing can be exactly what is needed.

I have included a link at the end of this post for anyone interested in ordering this amazing book.  It has helped me immensely and I know it has helped other ministers and church members through some very difficult seasons.  It was written by our pastor, friend and mentor Chris Jackson.  He and his family have shown us that it is possible to LOVE and ENJOY the ministry.  They have loved us, prayed for us and sustained us with kind words, encouragement and Starbucks when we needed it desperately.  I cannot say enough about them…they are the real deal.

Praying Through Sorrows by Dutch Sheets and Chris Jackson

Stacy’s Story

Standing over the sink, I splashed cold water on my face.  My eyes were red and swollen, my throat was raw from crying.  The first week at my new school left me hurting and questioning God.  I had already endured so much transition and the thought of starting over again was almost unbearable.  I was tired of being the new girl, of introducing myself to curious strangers and walking to lunch alone.  Yet, there I was, giving it one more shot…again.

I sunk to the floor, trying to gain my composure before it was time for dinner.  As I sat there, I asked God for some very specific things.  I asked Him to give me a love for my high school, to give me favor and influence and most importantly I asked that He would allow me to make a difference in the lives of those around me.  That prayer forever changed my life.

****

The classroom was cold.  I had only been in there once before and it was cold then too.  I made a mental note to bring a sweater to class as the teacher spoke in the background.  I glanced over to the seat next to me, the girl sitting there had dark hair and fair skin.  Her Kurt Cobain T-shirt gave away her love for music.  She sat there quietly, listening with respect, but I could tell her mind was somewhere else.  I wondered what her story was and why she looked confident, yet so alone all at the same time.  I decided that if given the chance, I would introduce myself.  After all, I had nothing to lose…I didn’t have any friends in the class to begin with.  I don’t even recall how we struck up conversation, but I do remember feeling as though God was purposefully orchestrating our friendship.  She needed hope and I needed to be challenged in my faith.  God was up to something, but what I didn’t know was that I was about to witness an incredible miracle… the miracle of redemption and the power of God to change even the hardest of hearts.

Months went by as I sat across from Stacy.  I became her friend, we joked and laughed.  She tried so hard to hide her pain.  The cuts on her arms were almost always covered up by a long sleeve shirt, even on the warmest Texas day.  But I knew, I could tell that she wanted to change   She wanted hope…she longed for freedom.   During that time my youth pastor was speaking to us about sharing our faith and believing for our friends to come to Christ.  I soaked in every word each week, I knew I was called to make a difference on my school campus.  But I was so overwhelmed, my high school was one of the largest in Dallas with over 5,000 students.  I literally felt like David facing Goliath.  But, instead of retreating, I decided to take a step of faith.  I started praying every day for Stacy and her family.  I prayed that she would turn back to the Lord and that she would put a stop the self-destructive habits forming in her life.  Day after day I prayed.  At times I would fast during my lunch hour or wake up early in the morning in order to get alone with God and cry out for my friends at school.  Tears would stream down my face as I spoke their names…I loved those moments.  I honestly felt as though God was touched by my simple faith, I could feel His incredible presence. 

Not too long after I began seriously praying for Stacy she agreed to come to one of the high school life groups with me.  After that she came to church and shortly thereafter, she turned her life back over to the Lord.  Everything about Stacy changed.  I would see her skipping down the hallway or sharing her faith with other students at school.  She gave a speech on the power of Jesus in one of her classes and began leading numerous people to Christ.  Stacy was changing the face of our high school, people were so amazed at her transformation.  They wanted the same hope, they wanted to know about Jesus. 

Not long after Stacy graduated, she suffered an unimaginable loss in her family.  I invite you to watch the following video.  Her story will bring tears to your eyes and hope to your heart.  My desire is that you would find inspiration as you watch her story.  It is one of redemption, and the healing power of a mighty God.

Stacy Holbrook: There Goes My Hero.

Stacy and her Fiance Zach